It took me a while to fully integrate and absorb the pulse and shift that the Silent Guru Mantra initiation graciously given by Sree Maa Shri Ji brought. i viewed Sree Maa Shri Ji very differently from this day on. The casualness, 'the cool dude' attitude that i sometimes kept receded and a different kind of respect, adoration and gratitude dawned, a bond between a Guru and a student where both mutually accept one another. i had fully accepted SreeMaaShri Ji for the remarkable brilliance and utmost compassion they tried to conceal under selflessness and humility and Sree Maa Shri Ji accepted me despite the apparent flaws of the doer. Sree Maa Shri Ji's brilliance and compassion outshined and resonated so soundly that the akarta - akarmi in me felt ready to surrender in Sree Maa Shri Ji's lotus-feet and the doer for a change, wasn't coming in the way. Interesting!
The next 4 days of the Retreat was only for the FiTs which was a continuation of the Transcendence. There were 19 of us. Sree Maa Shri Ji started the retreat with an interactive discourse about "why vegetarianism?" It was layered with sense of humour. Remember all of us bursting into peals of laughter when Sree Maa said that if anyone forces you to have meat, say that 'i will only eat it only if you are ready to serve yourself on the plate' 😂
i have been a vegetarian all my life and am aware that at least 4 generations before me have been Jains and strict vegetarians. i have been ridiculed a number of times, one such statement being 'kya bakriyon ki tarah ghaans phoos khati hai! (what grass you eat like goats)' and quite frankly, the ridiculing has come mostly from my own countrymen and utter disbelief from Westerners who hail from a meat-eating culture and have had no exposure to other cultures. Thankfully, the internet has made the world smaller and the awareness towards vegetarianism is on the rise worldwide due to health concerns, spirituality, no cruelty to animals etc. Sree Maa's sense of humour weaved with Absolute Truth was a breath of fresh air💕
As i mentioned earlier, the FiT training has always been about Manan and Chintan. One such session was "to tune-in with QVSWPP, scan and assess where you are with the FiT programme and make a list of your own strengths and weaknesses" This was an exercise i wasn't able to complete properly as the old me had pretty much dissolved and the new me after transcendence hadn't settled fully. i still experienced myself in the transition phase and didn't do the exercise. i wasn't told off for it by Sree Maa or Shri Ji but was fully respected with time and space to integrate the shift🙏
From being a seeker, seeking to find who am i, until the self surrendered and asked 'is there anyone out there who can tell me who i am?' Finding my Akshar Paratpar Mitra, Sree Maa Shri Ji who heard the yearning and led me from self to Self, showed me my ultimate goal of SELF. My journey from self to Self to SELF which got stalled due to a few covert and malignant narcissists who sat with me slyly like they were in Kosmic Fusion for the same spiritual goal as me...but alas!
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ReplyDeleteDear Kalyan Mitra Niranjana💞Much gratitude for all your wonderful sharings on your blog🙏 its taken me down the memory lane and im reminiscing over the profund moments shared by beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji 🙏🙇♀️🌹🌹🌹
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